Here after
a while. As 2018 approaches, trying to see if I can begin the year with some
new habits. ‘Early resolutions’ is one way to put it. The underlying to this
one is the desire to ‘create’ rather than just passively ‘consume’. Consumption
is fun, and surrounded by all those books which compete for my attention,
something difficult to tear away from. And hence, the need of a resolution, of
habit or discipline to bring myself to write. If not written, the books read
just stay with me as moments of pleasure, of intense enjoyment – existing at
the time of reading. But if I write about them, maybe I get to stretch the
pleasure a little bit more, and make it more permanent than the elusive,
momentary thing that reading generally is. Another way to consider this is
understanding how much sticks. And there are chances of more sticking if I were
reflecting about it. And to write, one necessarily needs to reflect.
So, the
means to reach the deeper end of reflection is to commit to write, with
discipline.
**
It is the
first weekend of December, and my count of books read this year so far stands
at 44. Is this the year I reach 50? Who knows? I have a few open ones which I
hope to finish before the year ends. Last year, I had finished some 42 books.
A good
place to perhaps note that the number of books I finish is may be one tenth of
the books I wish I finished, or books I physically begin reading, exploring,
skimming, and thinking about. Some of them are nonfiction which I find difficult
to read cover to cover unless they are engaging. And if I don’t read them cover
to cover, I don’t count them as finished books - so, there. I try not to judge
the reading year by the number itself, but still, it is a fun number to track.
**
What am I
reading these days? A lot of short stories. I enjoy short stories. I like it
that I can sit with new characters and new contexts over a cup of coffee and go
on this journey with them. You can do that with longer novels too, but they
work at a different pace. Short stories need breathing space. Each one requires
afterthoughts. And each one is like a new present to unravel. Reading a book of
short stories takes more time too I think. You spend a lot more time with the
author when reading short stories compared to if you were reading a novel of
same length.
I recently
read Henry James and Isak Dinesen. Henry James’ Daisy Miller
and other Stories were about all these American women in Europe
(most of the times). And the cultural disorientation that it brought.
Equivalent today will be books where Asians, Africans or South Americans write
about life in the US or UK. It is a different enough world, even in this time
and age - a bridge not fully crossed compared to that between Europe and US I
would think. Dinesen’s stories were fable like. Babette and
her feast staying in my mind for a while.
My last
read was Julian Barnes’ The Lemon Table. Unlike many other
books, where the age of people is not as relevant (unless it is books with kids
or young adults), here, most of the characters were people at the dusk of their
lives. Old, with most of their life in their past rather than in future. And
hence, in a way more grounded and real compared to other fiction I think. I
guess at that age, eventually one comes to terms with oneself and lost dreams
and promises not kept to oneself. Life’s accounting is much more real rather
than forward looking then. A lot of sadness in the book. It makes you
wonder! Not a happy book, a bit disturbing. Still, enjoyed the stories and a
couple of them – The Story of Mats Israelson, and The
Things You Know stayed longer with me.
The books
that I am reading currently include Katherine Mansfield’s Complete
short stories, and stories by Denis Diderot and Raymond Carver.
Mansfield is someone I have been seeking more of after reading Bliss
and Other Stories earlier this year, or sometime last year. I read
her stories from the German Pension recently. And
finally found two more books. I love her writing, and do not want to finish it
quickly - savoring them slowly so that they last longer. Mansfield’s short
stories are quite haunting. I think of them at random times. They are very vivid.
They make you wonder whether you saw a TV show that the images stay so vividly
with you. Her stories are episodic, like instances, like a portrait, or a live
picture of a very short slice of life.
The Collected
Stories has all of Mansfield’s work in it (not much given her
short life), including her unfinished stories. The unfinished ones are
difficult to read since they are unresolved. Part of the reason I abandoned
another book this year- Pushkin’s stories where the first few stories were not
finished. And there are few things as annoying as reading unfinished stories.
Carver and
Diderot are both new authors for me. I am enjoying Diderot. But Carver - I feel
a revulsion as I read some of the stories. It reminds me of Cheever, of Updike,
of the American suburbia and the subject matter of life with such bleak
aspects, that it is a bit of work to read those stories, even though they are
tiny. And is that what makes a good story? The way it can inspire those
emotions in you? It is not like Henry James taking you through international
episodes over 50 pages. These are 5 pages, and a life full of agony glimpsed
through each story.
Incidentally,
I heard Carver’s “Why don’t you dance” narrated on Paris Review podcast
today – third episode, and since I had read the story just last week (it is the
first story in the collection What we talk about when we talk about
love), it was an interesting replaying at a distance of one week.
And? I know
I am not borrowing more from Carver anytime soon.
**
Getting on a
tangent from the last paragraph – I have rediscovered podcasts. I have been
occasionally listening to New Yorker fiction from its very early days some 10
years ago. But seems like right now is a good time to get reacquainted with the
medium. There is enough good material created already, and enough coming from
trusted sources, that you know your time listening wouldn’t be wasted listening
to people go on about banalities. There is a huge library, and you can pick and
choose and create a worthy playlist. My current list for books includes
Atlantic Interview, Paris Review podcast (both new releases), BBC books, the
New Yorker fiction and poetry podcasts, and Monocle’s ‘Meet the writers’ –
timeless quality to most of them. Enjoying all of them - and hoping to find
more.
What I love
about podcasts is that they ease my chores immensely. While cleaning and
tidying or tending to the laundry or the plants, I listen to them and don't
feel one bit like I am doing any chores. Sometimes, in fact I look forward to
the chores! I bet they wouldn't have thought of this happy application while recording
those podcasts.
Most of my
drives and workouts are still set to music. Not yielding that space yet. Yet.